[page 100, continued:] |
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 I HAD, for
some time past, dwelt
upon the prospect of our being reduced to this last horrible extremity,
and had secretly made up my mind to suffer death in any shape or under
any circumstances rather than resort to such a course. Nor was this
resolution
in any degree weakened by the present intensity of hunger under which I
labored. The proposition had not been heard by either Peters or
Augustus.
I therefore took Parker aside; and mentally praying to God for power to
dissuade him from the horrible purpose he entertained, I expostulated
with
him for a long time and in the most supplicating manner, begging him in
the name of everything which he held sacred, and urging him by every
species
of argument which the extremity of the case suggested, to abandon the
idea,
and not to mention it to either of the other two. He heard all I said without attempting to controvert any of my arguments, and I had begun to hope that he would be prevailed upon to do as I desired. But when I had ceased speaking, he said that he knew very well all I had said was true, and that to resort to such a course was the most horrible alternative which could enter into the mind of man; but that he had now held out as long as human nature could be sustained; that it was unnecessary for all to perish, when, by the death of one, it was [page 101:] possible, and even probable, that the rest might be finally preserved; adding that I might save myself the trouble of trying to turn him from his purpose, his mind having been thoroughly made up on the subject even before the appearance of the ship, and that only her heaving in sight had prevented him from mentioning his intention at an earlier period. I now begged him, if he would not be
prevailed upon
to abandon his design, at least to defer it for another day, when some
vessel might come to our relief; again
reiterating
every argument I could devise, and which I thought likely to have
influence
with one of his rough nature. He said, in reply, that he had not spoken
until the very last possible moment; that he could exist no longer
without
sustenance of some kind; and that therefore in another day his
suggestion
would be too late, as regarded himself at least. Finding that he was not to be moved
by anything I
could say in a mild tone, I now assumed a different demeanor, and told
him that he must be aware I had suffered less than any of us from our
calamities;
that my health and strength, consequently, were at that moment far
better
than his own, or than that either of Peters or Augustus; in short, that
I was in a condition to have my own way by force if I found it
necessary;
and that, if he attempted in any manner to acquaint the others with his
bloody and cannibal designs, I would not hesitate to throw him into the
sea. Upon this he immediately seized me by the throat, and drawing a
knife,
made several ineffectual efforts to stab me in the stomach; an atrocity
which his excessive debility alone prevented him from accomplishing. In
the mean time, being roused to a high pitch of anger, I forced him to
the
vessel's side, with the full intention of throwing him overboard. He
was
saved from his fate, however, by the interference of Peters, who now
approached
and separated us, asking the cause of the disturbance. This Parker told
before I could find means in any manner to prevent him. The effect of his words was even more
terrible than
what I had anticipated. Both Augustus and Peters, who, it seems, had
long
secretly entertained the same fearful idea which Parker had been merely
the first to broach, joined with him in his design, [page 102:]
and insisted upon
its
being immediately carried into effect. I had calculated that one at
least
of the two former would be found still possessed of sufficient strength
of mind to side with myself in resisting any attempt to execute so
dreadful
a purpose; and, with the aid of either one of them, I had no fear of
being
able to prevent its accomplishment.
Being
disappointed in this expectation, it became absolutely necessary that I
should attend to my own safety, as a further resistance on my part
might
possibly be considered by men in their frightful condition a sufficient
excuse for refusing me fair play in the tragedy that I knew would
speedily
be enacted. I now told them I was willing to
submit to the proposal,
merely requesting a delay of about one hour, in order that the fog
which
had gathered around us might have an opportunity of lifting, when it
was
possible that the ship we had seen might be again in sight. After great
difficulty I obtained from them a promise to wait thus long; and, as I
had anticipated (a breeze rapidly coming in), the fog lifted before the
hour had expired, when, no vessel appearing in sight, we prepared to
draw
lots. It is with extreme reluctance that I
dwell upon the
appalling scene which ensued; a scene which, with its minutest details,
no after events have been able to efface in the slightest degree from
my
memory, and whose stern recollection will imbitter [[embitter]] every
future
moment of my existence. Let me run over this portion of my narrative
with
as much haste as the nature of the events to be spoken of will permit.
The only method we could devise for the terrific lottery, in which we
were
to take each a chance, was that of drawing straws. Small splinters of
wood
were made to answer our purpose, and it was agreed that I should be the
holder. I retired to one end of the hulk, while my poor companions
silently
took up their station in the other with their backs turned towards me.
The bitterest anxiety which I endured at any period of this fearful
drama
was while I occupied myself in the arrangement of the lots. There are
few
conditions into which man can possibly fall where he will not feel a
deep
interest in the preservation of his existence; an interest momentarily
increasing with the frailness of the tenure by which that existence may
be held. But now that the silent, definite, and stern nature [page
103:] of the
business
in which I was engaged (so different from the tumultuous dangers of the
storm or the gradually approaching
horrors
of famine) allowed me to reflect on the few chances I had of escaping
the
most appalling of deaths — a death for the most appalling of purposes —
every particle of that energy which had so long buoyed me up departed
like
feathers before the wind, leaving me a helpless prey to the most abject
and pitiable terror. I could not, at first, even summon up sufficient
strength
to tear and fit together the small splinters of wood, my fingers
absolutely
refusing their office, and my knees knocking violently against each
other.
My mind ran over rapidly a thousand absurd projects by which to avoid
becoming
a partner in the awful speculation. I thought of falling on my knees to
my companions, and entreating them to let me escape this necessity; of
suddenly rushing upon them, and, by putting one of them to death, of
rendering
the decision by lot useless — in short, of everything but of going
through
with the matter I had in hand. At last, after wasting a long time in
this
imbecile conduct, I was recalled to my senses by the voice of Parker,
who
urged me to relieve them at once from the terrible anxiety they were
enduring.
Even then I could not bring myself to arrange the splinters upon the
spot,
but thought over every species of finesse by which I could trick some
one
of my fellow-sufferers to draw the short straw, as it had been agreed
that
whoever drew the shortest of four splinters from my hand was to die for
the preservation of the rest. Before any one condemn me for this
apparent
heartlessness, let him be placed in a situation precisely similar to my
own. At length delay was no longer
possible, and, with
a heart almost bursting from my bosom, I advanced to the region of the
forecastle, where my companions were awaiting me. I held out my hand
with
the splinters, and Peters immediately drew. He was free — his,
at
least, was not the shortest; and there was now another chance against
my
escape. I summoned up all my strength, and passed the lots to Augustus.
He also drew immediately, and he also was free; and now, whether I
should
live or die, the chances were no more
than
precisely even. At this moment all the fierceness of the tiger
possessed
my bosom, and I felt towards my poor fellow-creature, Parker, the most
intense, [page 104:] the most diabolical hatred. But the
feeling did not last; and,
at length, with a convulsive shudder and closed eyes, I held out the
two
remaining splinters towards him. It was fully five minutes before he
could
summon resolution to draw, during which period of heartrending suspense
I never once opened my eyes. Presently one of the two lots was quickly
drawn from my hand. The decision was then over, yet I knew not whether
it was for me or against me. No one spoke, and still I dared not
satisfy
myself by looking at the splinter I held. Peters at length took me by
the
hand, and I forced myself to look up, when I immediately saw by the
countenance
of Parker that I was safe, and that he it was who had been doomed to
suffer.
Gasping for breath, I fell senseless to the deck. I recovered from my swoon in time to
behold the consummation
of the tragedy in the death of him who had been chiefly instrumental in
bringing it about. He made no resistance whatever, and was stabbed in
the
back by Peters, when he fell instantly dead. I must not dwell upon the
fearful repast which immediately ensued. Such things may be imagined,
but
words have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of
their
reality. Let it suffice to say that, having in some measure appeased
the
raging thirst which consumed us by the blood of the victim, and having
by common consent taken off the hands, feet, and head, throwing them,
together
with the entrails, into the sea, we devoured the rest of the body,
piecemeal,
during the four ever memorable days of the seventeenth,
eighteenth,
nineteenth, and twentieth of the month. On the nineteenth, there coming on a
smart shower
which lasted fifteen or twenty minutes, we contrived to catch some
water
by means of a sheet which had been fished up from the cabin by our drag
just after the gale. The quantity we took in all did not amount to more
than half a gallon; but even this
scanty
allowance supplied us with comparative strength and hope. On the twenty-first we were again
reduced to the
last necessity. The weather still remained warm and pleasant, with
occasional
fogs and light breezes, most usually from N. to W. On the twenty-second, as we were
sitting close huddled [page 105:]
together, gloomily revolving over our lamentable condition, there
flashed
through my mind all at once an idea which inspired me with a bright
gleam
of hope. I remembered that, when the foremast had been cut away,
Peters,
being in the windward chains, passed one of the axes into my hand,
requesting
me to put it, if possible, in a place of security, and that a few
minutes
before the last heavy sea struck the brig and filled her I had taken
this
axe into the forecastle, and laid it in one of the larboard berths. I
now
thought it possible that, by getting at this axe, we might cut through
the deck over the storeroom, and thus readily supply ourselves with
provisions. When I communicated this object to my
companions,
they uttered a feeble shout of joy, and we all proceeded forthwith to
the
forecastle. The difficulty of descending here was greater than that of
going down in the cabin, the opening being much smaller, for it will be
remembered that the whole framework about the cabin companion-hatch had
been carried away, whereas the forecastle-way, being a simple hatch of
only about three feet square, had remained uninjured. I did not
hesitate,
however, to attempt the descent; and a rope being fastened round my
body
as before, I plunged boldly in, feet foremost, made my way quickly to
the
berth, and, at the very first attempt, brought up the axe. It was
hailed
with the most ecstatic joy and triumph, and the ease with which it had
been obtained was regarded as an omen of our ultimate preservation. We now commenced cutting at the deck
with all the
energy of rekindled hope, Peters and myself taking the axe by turns,
Augustus's
wounded arm not permitting him to aid us in any degree. As we were
still
so feeble as to be scarcely able to
stand
unsupported, and could consequently work but a minute or two without
resting,
it soon became evident that many long hours would be requisite to
accomplish
our task — that is, to cut an opening sufficiently large to admit of a
free access to the storeroom. This consideration, however, did not
discourage
us; and, working all night by the light of the moon, we succeeded in
effecting
our purpose by daybreak on the morning of the twenty-third. Peters now volunteered to go down;
and, having made
all [page 106:] arrangements as before, he descended, and soon
returned, bringing
up
with him a small jar, which, to our great joy, proved to be full of
olives.
Having shared these among us, and devoured them with the greatest
avidity,
we proceeded to let him down again. This time he succeeded beyond our
utmost
expectations, returning instantly with a large ham and a bottle of
Madeira
wine. Of the latter we each took a moderate sup, having learned by
experience
the pernicious consequences of indulging too freely. The ham, except
about
two pounds near the bone, was not in a condition to be eaten, having
been
entirely spoiled by the salt water. The sound part was divided among
us.
Peters and Augustus, not being able to restrain their appetite,
swallowed
theirs upon the instant; but I was more cautious, and ate but a small
portion
of mine, dreading the thirst which I knew would ensue. We now rested a
while from our labors, which had been intolerably severe. By noon, feeling somewhat
strengthened and refreshed,
we again renewed our attempt at getting up provision, Peters and myself
going down alternately, and always with more or less success, until
sundown.
During this interval we had the good fortune to bring up, altogether,
four
more small jars of olives, another ham, a carboy containing nearly
three
gallons of excellent Cape Madeira wine, and, what gave us still more
delight,
a small tortoise of the Gallipago breed, several of which had been
taken
on board by Captain Barnard, as the Grampus was leaving port, from the
schooner Mary Pitts, just returned from a sealing voyage in the
Pacific.In a subsequent portion of this
narrative I shall
have frequent occasion to mention this species of tortoise. It is found
principally, as most of my readers may know, in the group of islands
called
the Gallipagos, which, indeed, derive their name from the animal — the
Spanish word Gallipago meaning a fresh-water terapin [[terrapin]]. From
the peculiarity of their shape and action they have been sometimes
called
the elephant tortoise. They are frequently found of an enormous size. I
have myself seen several which would weigh from twelve to fifteen
hundred
pounds, although I do not remember that any navigator speaks of having
seen them weighing more than eight hundred. Their appearance [page
107:] is
singular,
and even disgusting. Their steps are very slow, measured, and heavy,
their
bodies being carried about a foot from the ground. Their neck is long,
and exceedingly slender; from eighteen inches to two feet is a very
common
length, and I killed one, where the distance from the shoulder to the
extremity
of the head was no less than three feet ten inches. The head has a
striking
resemblance to that of a serpent. They can exist without food for an
almost
incredible length of time, instances having been known where they have
been thrown into the hold of a vessel and lain two years without
nourishment
of any kind — being as fat, and, in every respect, in as good order at
the expiration of the time as when they were first put in. In one
particular
these extraordinary animals bear a resemblance to the dromedary, or
camel
of the desert. In a bag at the root of the neck they carry with them a
constant supply of water. In some instances, upon killing them after a
full year's deprivation of all nourishment, as much as three gallons of
perfectly sweet and fresh water have been found in their bags. Their
food
is chiefly wild parsley and celery, with purslain, sea-kelp, and
prickly
pears, upon which latter vegetable they thrive wonderfully, a great
quantity
of it being usually found on the hillsides near the shore wherever the
animal itself is discovered. They are excellent and highly nutritious
food,
and have, no doubt, been the means of preserving the lives of thousands
of seamen employed in the
whale-fishery
and other pursuits in the Pacific. The one which we had the good fortune
to bring up
from the storeroom was not of a large size, weighing probably
sixty-five
or seventy pounds. It was a female, and in excellent condition, being
exceedingly
fat, and having more than a quart of limpid and sweet water in its bag.
This was indeed a treasure; and, falling on our knees with one accord,
we returned fervent thanks to God for so seasonable a relief. We had great difficulty in getting
the animal up
through the opening, as its struggles were fierce and its strength
prodigious.
It was upon the point of making its escape from Peter's grasp, and
slipping
back into the water, when Augustus, throwing a rope with a slipknot
around
its throat, held it up in this manner until [page 108:] I
jumped into the hole by
the
side of Peters, and assisted him in lifting it out. The water we drew carefully from the
bag into the
jug, which, it will be remembered, had been brought up before from the
cabin. Having done this, we broke off the neck of a bottle so as to
form,
with the cork, a kind of glass, holding not quite half a gill. We then
each drank one of these measures full, and resolved to limit ourselves
to this quantity per day as long as it should hold out. During the last two or three days,
the weather having
been dry and pleasant, the bedding we had obtained from the cabin, as
well
as our clothing, had become thoroughly dry, so that we passed this
night
(that of the twenty-third) in comparative comfort, enjoying a tranquil
repose, after having supped plentifully on olives and ham, with a small
allowance of the wine. Being afraid of losing some of our stores
overboard
during the night, in the event of a breeze springing up, we secured
them
as well as possible with cordage to the fragments of the windlass. Our
tortoise, which we were anxious to preserve alive as long as we could,
we threw on its back, and otherwise carefully fastened. |
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