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103. John H. Ingram to Sarah Helen Whitman
30 June 1875
My dear Friend,
On the list Inst. I began & finished three sides of a letter to you, but did not complete the epistle, so begin another & will destroy the old one. I have been far from well — too unwell with face ache for some days to do anything. I am continually being attacked by semi-fainting fits — half swoons, which come on suddenly &, after a few instants of weakness, pass away, leaving me feeble &, naturally, nervous. But enough of self-improving prospects & youth will, doubtless, carry me through these failings.
But about yourself? Cannot you get anything to afford you relief from your neuralgic attacks? Cannot something be got? I look for each of your dear letters so eagerly but fear you will begin to wonder about my long silence. Do not pain yourself by writing long letters to me nor to Mrs. Houghton — but just send me a card now & then to say how you are getting on. The new international cards will be very handy.
Let me see, I have not yet answered yours of the 27 May & 4 [2] June. Shame on me! Let me do so briefly.
About my proposed visit to America — I was, of course, very gratified with the honor proffered me by the University of Virginia, but I could not, anyhow, have got away, by the time stated. They have just sent me another letter in which they remark, “hope that we may greet you as a guest at some day not far distant.” I might get away a few weeks later [page 313:] on, but do not think I shall visit the United States this year, but if all be well, shall next year. I am very strongly urged, by reasons manifold & manifest, to make the journey as soon as possible, but prudence says “wait a while.” I do not mind owning to you & entre nous, that one of my strongest reasons for not going now is the cost. A journey to America & back, if done decently, the living & travelling included, would involve a much larger outlay than I feel just now justified in incurring. Had I only myself to think for I would not hesitate for an instant, but, I may confess to you, my dear friend, I have a mother & sisters dependent upon me and, although I have endeavoured to make such provision for them as lay in my power, my loss would deprive them of their chief support — my income of course dying with me, it, therefore behoves me to be very careful of my little capital.
Cradled in every luxury, my poor father's insanity & overtrustfulness in others, brought us very low. My hard, laborious exertions, and constant self-denial, have enabled us to retain a respectable position, and now, I am gradually regaining our old post in the world — a world which deems poverty the one unpardonable crime. Trifling as you may think such a journey might be, even that cost would make a great hole in the little capital. There! I have confessed to you my chief obstacle — it is wearisome but must be endured as so many worse things have already been. Every year the traces of Poe's career will, of course, grow fainter, and I would so much sooner devote my whole mind to the biography soon. — Whilst all the various data are so fresh in my mind. Though, whilst reason is spared, I shall always be ready to vindicate Poe's fame & name against attack, & always remember the salient features of his story. I am naturally desirous of doing something for Fame myself. I wish to write a biography of Poe that shall be the standard one but, that done, I wish to set to work upon other literary projects which are seething in my brain. I do not fear for death personally, yet dread, like poor Chénier, to die without having wrought out any of my ideals save this one only. Till Poe's life is completed I cannot write anything else but rubbish — which is what I am doing now — n’est ce pas?
And so to return to yours of the 27th Ulto. I felt anxious about your not alluding in that letter to mine sent on, I believe, 4th May, with the two photos. I now see you have received the larger but not the smaller one. This is too bad! I am not sure whether the smaller one was in the letter, or, as I fancy, with the large one, but I know it went at same time.
En passant, have I ever thanked you for those sweet violets? Their fragrance endures. The Nation, I fancy, alluded to my reply but dared not insert it. I must let you have a copy, but I do not think it worth while reviving the affair by publishing it. What think you? I must [page 314:] puzzle them by the knowledge I have of American journalism. Davidson puzzles me. I have to write him at once but I shall not show him any more of my cards. He has been very kind in some things but has never — strictly between ourselves — been able to get at a single useful fact for me. Perhaps he is too busy — he has worked hard at getting me papers I wanted — would not betray me knowingly, I feel assured, but he is too intimate & too much in the hands of the enemy. Again quite private, the International Review say they will be glad to receive a paper from me on Petöfi. I proposed the subject. I cannot, however, write it until after my holiday. I am too weak & washed out.
I wrote Mrs. Houghton directly your letter came but, whilst indirectly answering some of her queries, preferred not mentioning that I knew of her letter to you. In her last she tells me of having written to you & in answering I shall not even mention that you have spoken of her letters. But I do like her. She is genuine & natural, neither of which is the lady she is so cross about. Mrs. Houghton] was the real friend, I have no doubt — the other received quid pro quo favours. Mrs. Houghton] has her faults as you doubtless know but she is a woman, I believe, I could most affectionately admire. After yourself there is no American I wish more to see & meet. You see the deficiencies of her education & perhaps wonder at Poe's liking for her. I do not wonder at all. I can see there was that in her which would attract him most powerfully. I have contrived to inform her how I first heard of Mrs. Lewis, & other things she asks you, without alluding to you. C’est Bien! N’est ce pas? I do not hesitate one instant between “the rival queens.” I do not fancy any unworthy motives in Mrs. H[oughton]. You see I know her better than you do. The other woman is bad — but useful & affords me a curious specimen of humanity such as I like to study, without ever committing myself. Mrs. H[oughton] I can trust — not as I can trust you, but in herself & of herself, but not about others, or their secrets. I enclose Mrs. Clemm's letter. Mrs. C[lemm] was not a grateful woman, I fancy. That is, she wearied out her friends & then forsook them. As regards Mrs. L[ewis] & Mrs. C[lemm], I can only tell you the whole truth personally. Lines “To Marie Louise” beginning “Not long ago” I will send a true copy soon. It is undated. Caligraphy most exquisite. Mrs. Clemm never said she received “The Fire Fiend.” Its author acknowledged that that assertion was as false as the imputed authorship. I will write to Dr. J. R. Buchanan, Louisville, Kentucky, if you wish it but make another attempt yourself through a friend first.(1) Insist upon its return. Its retention is pure robbery. I must leave off. I will return Mrs. H[oughton]'s letters in my next of a few days & answer your 2nd letter of 4th June. [page 315:]
Trusting you are better — I remain, most faithfully in life & death, yours ever,
John H. Ingram
1. Mrs. Whitman had allowed the spiritualist E. W. Capron to send to Dr. J. R. Buchanan, Louisville, Ky., the manuscript of the second “To Helen,” sent to her by Poe, for a psychometric reading. Apparently, she had tried to recover the manuscript before this mention of it in Ingram's letter, but without success. See also pp. 351, 352-53.
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Notes:
None.
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[S:0 - PHR, 1979] - Edgar Allan Poe Society of Baltimore - Bookshelf - Poe's Helen Remembers (J. C. Miller) (Entry 103)